Vivian’s Misunderstanding

It was wonderful news on top of wonderful news!  One daughter expecting her first baby in August and another expecting her second child in September.  The summer of 2019 was going to be a memorable one.

The situation was explained to my three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter, Vivian, and she caught on right away.  She enthusiastically told people that her Aunt Cara and her Mommy were each ‘growing a baby in their tummies’.  And she was convinced that they were both ‘growing baby girls.’  We all smiled and indulged her fantasy because, after all, she might be right. 

In March we gathered for Cara and Phil's Gender Reveal party.  Most people were predicting it was going to be a boy, except Vivian, firm in her belief that it was a girl.  When the cake was cut to reveal pink inside, I looked over at Vivian and saw her nodding her head with a smug smile on her face.  At that moment I envied her.  To be secure in the knowledge that everything you desired was going to come true, is a gift enjoyed by only the very young.  

Shortly after, April, was scheduled for an ultrasound and decided to find out the gender of her baby, if possible.   I was to go along and bring in Vivian after the preliminary assessment was done.  l was worried about her reaction if it turned out to be a boy.  I decided to go through the different scenarios with her while in the crowded waiting room.  I said, "If they say Mommy is having a baby girl, what should we say?"  Then we practiced saying "Hooray - it's a girl!"  "If they say it is a boy, what are we going to say?"  Immediately she responded, "Don't be silly Grandma, it's going to be a baby girl!"  She absolutely refused to play along with the boy possibility.  

Stuart came out to get us and we excitedly followed him into the ultrasound room.  As Vivian was being set up on a stool beside her mother, I noticed that both April and Stuart seemed kind of hesitant.  I knew everything must be fine with the baby or we wouldn't have been invited in, but still it gave me pause.  The technician put the wand on April’s abdomen and there on the screen were the four chambers of my new grandchild's heart, beating in perfect synchronization.  We were all mesmerized.  Then she moved the wand and the region between the baby’s legs came into view.  It was obvious that this grandchild was not going to be a girl!  I let out a quiet exclamation of "Oh!" and April locked eyes with mine.  She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  She said, "Vivian, Mommy and Daddy have something to tell you.  The baby is a boy. 

You are getting a baby brother."  Vivian stood there like a deer in headlights.  She looked neither pleased nor displeased but was stunned.  As the ultrasound went on, she was interested in the jelly on her Mommy's tummy, but she remained quiet the entire time.  As for me, I marvelled at the technological improvements in the ultrasound.  Nearly thirty years ago, my babies were indiscriminate blobs in shades of gray.  Now I could see every amazing detail of my grandson's spine and ribs and skull.  He was so incredibly perfect that I felt like crying.  

Back in the waiting room we all huddled around Vivian as we stuffed her into her blue polka dot raincoat and pink rain boots.  She remained stoic and when someone asked what kind of baby she was getting, she was able to mutter "baby brother" without bursting into tears.  As I drove Vivian back to her daycare, I hummed along to myself, savouring my good fortune.  I had a son and two daughters and by the end of the summer I would have a grandson and two granddaughters.  Meantime things were not so rosy in the back seat.  The floodgates had opened, and Vivian was snuffling and hiccupping and generally miserable.  Suddenly, she blurted out: “But Grandma!  Mommies are s’posed to grow baby girls in their tummies and Daddies are s’posed to grow baby boys in their tummies!”  Click, clack, clunk - all the pieces fell together.  My lovely, naive little granddaughter thought that she lived in a utopian world where men gave birth to boys and women had girls.  Vivian hadn’t really wanted a baby sister so much as she expected a baby sister.  Once the true biological situation was explained to her, she accepted it perfectly well.  

In mid-August our first little miracle arrived.  On one of my visits to see my new granddaughter, I was met at the door by Vivian.  She exclaimed, “Grandma, Grandma, come and see!  Aunt Cara has ‘growed’ her baby!”  This was Vivian-speak for “Aunt Cara’s baby, Evelyn, is born”.  It was one of many times I have laughed at my grandchildren’s phrasings – but that’s another story!

Then, on the last day of summer, Daniel was born.  The following day everyone was over for a visit.  We put the two babies side by side on the sofa in order to compare and contrast them.  Evee was almost six weeks old and had a lovely complexion, a smiley face and a pretty pink outfit.  Daniel was a typical newborn, seemingly swollen and wrinkly at the same time.  He stared, with unfocussed eyes, off into the middle distance.  Even though Evee was much bigger overall, we marvelled at the fact that Daniel’s hands were larger!  Vivian dug her elbow into the couch close to the baby’s heads.  From this anchor point she pivoted herself around such that she hovered over their faces.  She carefully examined her brother and cousin for a minute or two with her hair brushing against their skin.  Then she stood up, looked directly at me and declared, “I like the girl one best!”  

-Submitted by Laurel Crosbie-Michaud